Modern and miserable

...slaves we have become in today's society. According to Wikipedia, slavery is “a form of forced labour in which people are considered to be the property of others”.

If you observe the people around us and listen to them...many of them often talk about work, career, latest add-ons (gadget, luxury goods...) to their lives, latest entertainment, etc. They are working hard, often on the look out and moving on to supposedly greener pastures. Life is a series of upgrading in their lifestyle. Do they enjoy working? Do they get satisfaction from their jobs?

The brutal truth is that we make changes to ourselves and to our lives for the objects we desire to own. To illustrate: because I want to own a property, therefore, I need to find a better-paying job to help me reach my goal. When I do finally achieve, I'd feel a great sense of achievement and satisfaction because I earn it. It's my reward. BUT am I willing to overlook the long hours, and frustration (and possibly greater debts to finance the lifestyle)? Perhaps I am...and for sure, I have my next goal lined up waiting for me.

It's a vicious cycle. What frustrates me is that we are aware of it and we continue to let ourselves adapt to these changes. We should learn to say "No"...and NOT let greed overtake us.

Hola, mi amigo

I find the recent discussion about the pair of sisters having 16,000 friends amusing...everyone starts to question what qualifies one as a friend or a good friend. Well, I believe everyone is entitled to their own definition of friends...as long as they are happy with their circle of friends.

For me, like Mr Ng, I do not need my friends to remember my birthday (although I must say I really appreciate the bday wishes I received from them). I subscribe to the old school – ‘a friend in need is a friend indeed’, 讲义气 kind of friends. Sounds like brotherhood, triad society oaths, eh? Haa...but seriously, it’s as simple as that for me. Yet, not easy to find such friends.

Some questions also came to my mind about friendship (in fact, for any relationship)

• When was the last time we had this impulse of dialing our friends’ number...just because we want to hear their voice, wanting to know how they are getting on with their lives...and because we miss them?
• When was the last time we had a heart-to-heart talk with them? Actively listening to them and having the ‘altruistic’ urge in us to help them out?
• We have many friends whom we can choose to hang out with, but who are the ones that come to mind when we need someone whom we can just chill out with? To feel comfortable with, without saying much to each other (enjoying the silence)?
• When it comes to gifting, how often do we buy presents for friends for the sake of buying? Similarly, how often do we buy presents having the person in mind (knowing what the person likes and dislikes)? [Hint: Being recipients ourselves, we can tell from the presents which the ‘thoughtful gifts’ are.]

So...how much do we know about our friends? How much do we treasure them?
How much do we respect them? And how much do we value their opinions?

It is useless thinking about these questions and having the answers in our head because it will be the actions stemming from these thots that matter - the small gestures/ initiatives, occasional surprises/ emails/ sms/ calls, thoughtful gifts...

“My, it’s so much hard work to be a friend” you may say.

Well, no one says it’s easy being a human in the first place...

Feeling high and dry

It has a life on its own.
It feeds on anything that’s alive.
It sucks the victim dry.
It leaves the victim high.

But it is also kind.
At times, it makes the victim happy (but how often?)
Other times, it makes the victim gloomy (oh, how frequent it is!)
What an emotional ride…
It drains the victim dry.
It leaves the victim high.

Some says the victim is blind,
Some says it’s the victim’s plight,
Some says the victim deserves it
For it is the victim that creates it --
WORK

[Wrote this some time ago...dry because I was brain-drained and high because I was in a state of high after working for long hours]

Inner voice

Listen hard.
It’s there.

When you are making a decision, responding or reacting to a situation, voices in your head that probably say something like this…

"Yea, that’s the way to go."
"Hold on, you sure you want to do this?"
"Is this the right move?"
"Hmm…something ain’t right…"

Devil’s advocate, true essence of who you are, Freudian’s theory of superego, the voice that can empower one, the gut feel, the sixth sense…whatever name it is called…it’s there.

An irrefutable truth is that you know the voice is right. Try to go against it and you feel a pang of guilt. Which give rise to hesitation…and possibly regret not heeding the voice.

Amid the buzz surrounding us, it’s easy to lose ‘sight’ of it. So don’t lose it.

Believe it's something that connects every one of us. Somehow deep down, we just know it...because sometimes the inner voice echoes the thought of the stranger just seated next to you.

Stay connected

Connectivity. Being connected at anywhere - at work, home, school, etc – at anytime, with anyone who’s connected. Mobile phones. Email. Blackberry. Messenger. Social networking sites. Blogs. Hmm, what else did I leave out?

Then here’s a hypothetical scenario (think can try permuting the order too):
If I can’t get you on the phone, I can drop you an email. If there’s no reply, I see if I can reach you online on Messenger to inform you I sent an email to your XX email account (since many of us own numerous email accounts these days). If I still can’t reach you, I see if I can google your name, schools you studied, companies you worked in, anything regarding your background. Who knows – you maybe registered on a social network, belonging to some groups/affiliation. And I can get myself registered on the social network as well, find my affiliated group and according to six degree of separation, I should be able to reach you. Perhaps you happen to have a blog which you placed it in your social network. Which means I can read and find out more about you. I can drop a comment if I want or chat with you via your blog if you are online.

Ok, I am making it sound like stalking, or you can say I am being paranoid. But it’s possible, don't you think? Especially with this ever-increasing connectedness of human beings. Everyone wants to be connected and is connected in some ways somehow. It’s just a matter of tracing it.

It never stands still

Clock always turns in clockwise direction, never anti-clockwise. The blood in our body is constantly flowing. Never ceasing. And our heart is constantly beating. Never resting. Sun rises and sets everyday. So does the moon.

Nothing exists in a permanent state. Life is always evolving, ever-changing. So why are we afraid of change?

Education

My think-aloud thoughts...

Read from the papers recently about the education plans govt has or is thinking for the people…which makes me think about the role of education in the first place.

In The Aristos by John Fowles (written in 1968), he wrote in Chapter 9 – A New Education

1. At present almost all our education is directed to two ends: to get wealth for the state and to gain a livelihood for the individual. It is therefore little wonder that society is money-obsessed, since the whole tenor of education seems to indicate that this obsession is both normal and desirable.

2. In spite of the fact that we now have almost universal education, we are qualitatively one of the least-educated ages, precisely because education has everywhere surrendered to economic need. Relatively far better educations were received by the fortunate few in the eighteen century; in the Renaissance, in ancient Rome and Greece. The aims of education in all those periods were far superior to our own; they opened the student admirably to the understanding and enjoyment of life and to his responsibilities towards society. Of course the facts and subjects of the old classical education are largely unnecessary to us today; and of course it was the product of a highly unjust economic situation, but at its best it arrived at something none of our present systems remotely approach: the rounded human being.

3. ...

And in a Newsweek article dated August 2006, Martha Nussbaum wrote:

We live in a world that is dominated by the profit motive – which suggests to concerned citizens that education in science and technology is crucially important to the future success of their nations. I have no objection to good scientific and technical education, and I don’t wish to suggest that nations should stop trying to improve it. But I worry that other abilities, equally crucial, are at risk of getting lost in the competitive flurry. The abilities associated with the humanities and the arts are also vital, both to the health of individual nations and to the creation of a decent world culture. These include the ability to think critically, to transcend local loyalties and to approach international problems as a “citizen of the world.” And, perhaps most important, the ability to imagine sympathetically the predicament of another person…in short, an education that cultivates human beings rather than producing useful machines. If we do not insist on the crucial importance of the humanities and the arts, they will drop away. They don’t make money. But they do something far more precious: they make a world worth living in.

Some 40 years ago and now, we are still facing the same issue. We are well aware of the fact that education is supposed to ‘cultivate’ a well-rounded human being not only to serve economically but also as a humane human being. But the scale has always been tilting to one end.

Recall the recent coverage on underpaid and under-appreciated social workers…and also the recent news about some students getting 4 straight As, yet they feel upset about it (their concern lies in the number of As they can achieve and the type of scholarship they can be awarded (local vs. foreign uni). But what about the majority of the JC students?).

SIGH, need to remind myself we are living in the ME era. ME has been taught to study hard, so that ME can earn more money (of cos, ME also want to earn more money) and ME can have a better life. It’s all about ME. Gee...what have we become?