* *Sparkle* *

Met BC for coffee yesterday, and I found something in him which I have not seen it in many of us for a very long time…

The sparkle in his eyes…when he was telling me about his life.

It was a refreshing feel because it’s been a long while since I last spoke to someone with so much zest for life. Feelings of envy, gladness, guilt and sadness start to creep in...and I start to wonder what happened to my ‘sparkle’.

I remember when I first started working, I was working crazy hours 24/7… WH/GL almost gave up on me (cos either I was often late for our regular gathering or I was out of town). Some pragmatic friends advised me to quit my job – for that number of hours I put in, it’s not worth the money earned.

But hey, I was YOUNG, full of energy, with a strong thirst for knowledge and experience, and I ENJOY pushing my limits. So I work hard, I play hard. And I believe I had that sparkle in my eyes during that period. The feeling of being alive, the passion for what I was doing…it’s that driving force that pumps my bloodstream.

So what’s pumping my bloodstream now? Deadline pressures…I have now become the ‘disengaged worker’. Dammit. I hate this feeling.

I told BC to stay close to his heart…continue to emit that sparkle.

I have already lost mine, but am not losing hope…I will continue to search for it…

Hola, mi amigo

I find the recent discussion about the pair of sisters having 16,000 friends amusing...everyone starts to question what qualifies one as a friend or a good friend. Well, I believe everyone is entitled to their own definition of friends...as long as they are happy with their circle of friends.

For me, like Mr Ng, I do not need my friends to remember my birthday (although I must say I really appreciate the bday wishes I received from them). I subscribe to the old school – ‘a friend in need is a friend indeed’, 讲义气 kind of friends. Sounds like brotherhood, triad society oaths, eh? Haa...but seriously, it’s as simple as that for me. Yet, not easy to find such friends.

Some questions also came to my mind about friendship (in fact, for any relationship)

• When was the last time we had this impulse of dialing our friends’ number...just because we want to hear their voice, wanting to know how they are getting on with their lives...and because we miss them?
• When was the last time we had a heart-to-heart talk with them? Actively listening to them and having the ‘altruistic’ urge in us to help them out?
• We have many friends whom we can choose to hang out with, but who are the ones that come to mind when we need someone whom we can just chill out with? To feel comfortable with, without saying much to each other (enjoying the silence)?
• When it comes to gifting, how often do we buy presents for friends for the sake of buying? Similarly, how often do we buy presents having the person in mind (knowing what the person likes and dislikes)? [Hint: Being recipients ourselves, we can tell from the presents which the ‘thoughtful gifts’ are.]

So...how much do we know about our friends? How much do we treasure them?
How much do we respect them? And how much do we value their opinions?

It is useless thinking about these questions and having the answers in our head because it will be the actions stemming from these thots that matter - the small gestures/ initiatives, occasional surprises/ emails/ sms/ calls, thoughtful gifts...

“My, it’s so much hard work to be a friend” you may say.

Well, no one says it’s easy being a human in the first place...

Feeling high and dry

It has a life on its own.
It feeds on anything that’s alive.
It sucks the victim dry.
It leaves the victim high.

But it is also kind.
At times, it makes the victim happy (but how often?)
Other times, it makes the victim gloomy (oh, how frequent it is!)
What an emotional ride…
It drains the victim dry.
It leaves the victim high.

Some says the victim is blind,
Some says it’s the victim’s plight,
Some says the victim deserves it
For it is the victim that creates it --
WORK

[Wrote this some time ago...dry because I was brain-drained and high because I was in a state of high after working for long hours]

Going north

Can't wait for next month...finally bought my tix and I will be setting off to Vietnam in July! Yes, back to Vietnam again...and this time to Ho Chi Minh.

Wondering how different and how alike the north Viet and south Viet are...am already hearing about HCMH being the backward version of Bangkok, the "吃草吃纸" (try saying this in Hokkien for the oomph feel - "chiat cao chiat zhwa") eating habits. Hmm, looks like it's going to be a shopping and going-on-a-meat-free-diet trip. Haa...ok, am exaggerating a little here.

Anyway, as always, I shall keep an open mind when I'm there (: