Stop and Stare

…by OneRepublic

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see

They're tryin to come back, all my senses push
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need
What u need, what u need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...

Ever felt like this before? I do… even more so recently.

Yah, worse scenario is reaching nowhere but I think the worst would be not giving oneself a chance to try ‘to go’. I may reach nowhere ultimately but at least I know I tried.

怎么没有新年的气氛呢

Some things that I usually do/prepare for CNY + what I accomplished:

• Haircut - uncheck
• New clothes - uncheck (Ok, I did last min shopping…shops either do not have what I want or my size. sigh)
• Spring cleaning - check
• 牛车水 - check (逛了一遍但就是没有感染到新年的气氛)

Die…don’t know what’s wrong. On 1 Jan, I am like this and now CNY, I am also like this. I know it’s in the mind. The dread of hearing “哇，好久没见了。你好吗？” (所谓的‘你好吗’是指你结婚了没？生子了没？)?? Well, my tactic so far is not to dodge the question, but answer truthfully, then go into my long story of how I turn out to be like this – which seems to turn off some people. *GRIN* And the next time I see them, they usually avoid asking questions. Basically they just want to know my current status. Period.

Only those who really care will sit down and listen to me. Furthermore, through the conversation, I get to know the person better thus a closer bond. Wonder how many people out there try to listen more and talk less these days? Seems that many are talking more, wanting to be heard by others (yah, I am guilty of that too at times). Perhaps it’s not the dread of hearing those questions but rather the reactions I receive from people – again back to the genuineness from people I hope for this year.

Work & music

Once you see me uploading my audioblog, it's an indication that I am mentally-drained. At the moment, I would rather leave my brain juices for my reporting and analysis stuff.

Most of the time, I plug in to music while I work. Different genre/tempo of music have different cognitive effects on me - in the morning, soothing music makes me feel calm (perhaps to counteract the morning blues) and during the afternoon, I need heavier dosage (usually fast tempo) to dispel the post-lunch lethargy...

Some friends do that too...hmm, wondering what they are listening to. Maybe we should compile our music lists and see if there's a pattern. Maybe we can start 'typologising'! Argh...I need to stop this overspill of work-related thinking process to my personal life...

Run

Yea, I feel like running. Not running from reality la, but just run for the sake of running. Can’t remember when was the last time I jog since the rainy season started last year. Am inspired by this song...probably due to its tune (Run by Collective Soul - click here to enjoy).

Can’t wait to feel the breeze on my face, the coolness in the air, the runners’ high (state of euphoria), and feeling of clear-headedness after the run…hmm :)

Have I got a long way to run? Yeah I run...ahhh...